I Don't Even Like Clowns, But...

I'm not a fan of clowns. Even one's in need. They creep me out. Mostly because of Stephen King, and John Wayne Gacey. Also. I don't like audience participation and they always want you to participate. I'm an INFJ. Stop judging me clowns!

But, I was reading the New Yorker this week and stumbled across this poem and it stuck with me enough that I tracked it down on their website and am bringing it to you.


Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats for -

If a Clown
by Stephen Dunn

If a clown came out of the woods,
a standard-looking clown with oversized
polka-dot clothes, floppy shoes,
a red, bulbous nose, and you saw him
on the edge of your property,
there’d be nothing funny about that,
would there? A bear might be preferable,
especially if black and berry-driven.

And if this clown began waving his hands
with those big white gloves
that clowns wear, and you realized
he wanted your attention, had something
apparently urgent to tell you,
would you pivot and run from him,
or stay put, as my friend did, who seemed
to understand here was a clown
who didn’t know where he was,
a clown without a context?

What could be sadder, my friend thought,
than a clown in need of a context?

If then the clown said to you
that he was on his way to a kid’s
birthday party, his car had broken down,
and he needed a ride, would you give
him one? Or would the connection
between the comic and the appalling,
as it pertained to clowns, be suddenly so clear
that you’d be paralyzed by it?

And if you were the clown, and my friend
hesitated, as he did, would you make
a sad face, and with an enormous finger
wipe away an imaginary tear? How far
would you trust your art?

I can tell you it worked.

Most of the guests had gone
when my friend and the clown drove up,
and the family was angry. But the clown
twisted a balloon into the shape of a bird
and gave it to the kid, who smiled,
let it rise to the ceiling.

If you were the kid,
the birthday boy, what from then on
would be your relationship with disappointment?
With joy? Whom would you blame or extoll?

A Short Song from Ms. Parker

Because it's Monday. Because it's been too long since I've featured Ms. Parker here, because...just because.

A Very Short Song

Once, when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad-
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And that is very bad.

Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke;
And that, I think, is worse.

- Dorothy Parker

Mug Taken to Mona Lisa's Mug

In the category of art news that made me giggle comes this story.

From CNN.com

Leonardo da Vinci's masterpiece the "Mona Lisa" was attacked with a mug earlier this month, but the world's most famous painting -- protected by thick glass -- emerged with its enigmatic smile undimmed.

The "Mona Lisa" sits behind bulletproof glass in the Louvre gallery.

French police say a woman "not in her senses" lobbed the mug at the 500-year-old painting, which hangs in the Louvre gallery in Paris.

The woman, a tourist, was later transferred from police custody to a psychiatric unit, a police spokesman told CNN. The spokesman declined to be identified, and did not say where the woman was from.

Of course, now I have the Nat King Cole version of "Mona Lisa" stuck in my head. Dangit.

In Memory of Patch - the Last Tommy

This past week England buried a hero. Harry Patch, aged 111, was the last living soldier who had fought in WWI. He survived the famous battle of Passchendaele in 1917. Many have been moved to write and pay tribute to Patch through the years, but the latest tribute, in this writers humble opinion, is one of the most moving. Another British darling, the band Radiohead, premiered their tribute to the late soldier on BBC Radio 4 last Thursday.

"Harry Patch (in memory of)" is absolutely heartbreaking. Its combination of strings, orchestrated by Johnny Greenwood and the soul stirring voice of Radiohead lead singer Thom Yorke strike a similar chord of the soundtrack from Schindler's List. It's music that stays with you for days after you hear it. If the music wasn't enough to haunt you, the lyrics will. Excerpted from the interview that inspired the song, they bring vivid mental pictures of what Harry Patch must have experienced during those muddy, bloody days in 1917.

Here are the lyrics to the song:

I am the only one that got through
The others died where ever they fell
It was an ambush
They came up from all sides
Give your leaders each a gun and then let them fight it out themselves
I've seen devils coming up from the ground
I've seen hell upon this earth
The next will be chemical but they will never learn

So many of us will have had fathers, grandfathers or great-grandfathers who fought in the First World War; but it is easy to forget. Of course we mustn’t and with this moving, modern tribute, we have a chance to stop and remember.

You can download the song from Radiohead’s official website for £1. All proceeds from the track will be donated to the Royal British Legion.
To hear the full version of the song go to the BBC website.

His obituary was absolutely lovely. Please check it out here.

Rest in Peace Patch.